People Pleasing – and why their opinion doesn’t matter

What’s your why?

Why do you do what you do?

Is it for yourself?

Is it for your friends and family?

Is it for people online?

Instagram? Twitter? Facebook?

Is it for them?

1 Thessalonians 2:4 says,

On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. (NIV)

The New Living Translation says,

For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.

I especially love the second half.

Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.

Our purpose is to please God, not people.

That should be our why!

That is what should motivate us when we are too tired to rise up in the morning.

When you are speaking, and delivering a word, know that it is not for your own gratification, or for your own praise, but rather, it is to please God. Yes we serve people, but first and foremost, we serve God. We are to have speech that is acceptable to people, but first and foremost, we are to have speech acceptable to God.

At the start I asked you: what is your why?

And I don’t know what your answer is. I cannot see into your heart. I cannot examine the motives of your heart. God alone examines the motives of our hearts. God alone tests our hearts. God alone trieth our hearts.

And let me also say this: there’s a massive difference between performing for people’s approval and being free to minister to their needs. When you know you already have God’s approval, you just move differently. They say that striving for approval is like any other drug; you can never get enough of it. And like all drug addicts you go crazy when it’s withheld.

Striving constantly for approval places you at the mercy of other people’s opinions, and as a result you live on an emotional roller coaster.

Let’s be clear! That is not how God wants you to live! That’s not the life He called you to.

Take a look at Paul who was free to speak the truth in love: to confront people or to be gentle with them. I am confident that when someone told Paul they didn’t like him, because of the truth that he was spreading, he didn’t lose sleep over it. Do you know why? Because his security and self-worth weren’t built on their acceptance.

‘We speak as those approved by God’.

Unlike many of us, Paul didn’t go around comparing himself with others. He didn’t care about demonstrating his superiority. He wasn’t motivated by trying to be top dog or the one who’s always in charge. He didn’t need to prove a thing. Knowing he already had God’s approval set him free from such anxiety and meant he could enjoy the life God called him to.

And I have to ask myself: Am I immature?

When we’re immature, we worry about what others think of us.

You often hear older, and wise people declare that we should not let unjustified negative opinions of us, stop us doing what we are meant to do. Because you will soon realise, that after all this spent worrying about them, the truth is that most of the time they aren’t thinking about you at all. They’re too busy thinking about themselves – or worrying about what we think of them!

Knowing you have God’s approval gives you the strength to deal with criticism and conflict because you’re secure in your identity.

Now what is this identity?

You are redeemed, called, and approved by God.

Before you leave, I also wanted to highlight this:

MacDonald writes that…

“It was clear to him that he couldn’t please both God and man, so he chose to please God, who tests our hearts and then rewards accordingly. A steward is obligated to please the one who pays him. Preachers may sometimes be tempted to hold back the full truth for fear of repercussion from those who contribute to their support. But God is the Master, and He knows when the message is watered down or suppressed.”

My Sunday Skl