Okay but what about dating though? What about people who are already with someone who’s not a believer? Imagine they were already married, should they now divorce them?
Surely not. First, let’s get the last question out of the way, Paul explicitly points out that existing marriages are an exception. 1 Corinthians 7:16 states: For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Paul here was giving a reason why Christians should not leave their unbelieving spouses. Because the unbelieving spouses were sanctified, there was a possibility that they would be saved later because of the continual influence (as a secondary cause of God’s Spirit) of the believing spouse (cf. 1 Pet. 3:1-7).
“Why did Paul call for hesitation over divorcing unbelievers? In effect, he said that we cannot know how God will use us in the lives of unbelieving spouses. Often, believing spouses become the instruments through which unbelievers come to faith.” [Pratt]
But what we really want to know is this: Can you date an unbeliever?
Can you? Sure. Should you?
Honestly though, I cannot give you a definite answer on this. Or rather, I refuse to.
The most I can give is our advice, and you do with it what you may. As Biblically sound as any of us may believe our opinions are, they still are opinions.
It would have been easier to act like our opinions were true if they were all in agreement, but when I asked around, there were contrasting opinions on the question. Some would not even consider it, saying it is not worth the hassle. They desire a partner who truly believes, understands and respects their faith, who they can rely on and go to. Others suggested that dating an unbeliever, maybe in the belief that they may be saved, is a greater display of the love Christ has for the Church than that of a relationship between two Christians. A few suggested that them being saved is a bonus, but they are not reliant on their partner being saved, to be able to truly experience God in His fullness. If they’re saved that’s great. If they’re not, they can still thrive. And well, who am I to say any of them are wrong.
There were a few stories surrounding the topic of dating unbelievers. Some good. Some bad. Some really bad. Some really really bad. And I wish I could share them but I’m working with NDA’s here.
But at the end of the discussion we realised a sad fact: these good and bad experiences were occurring in both relationships between Christians and Non-Christians.
So please, while out in these streets, seeking for your Christian Bad Boy or Bountiful Babe, don’t rejoice and scream once they tell you that they go to Church. You will know them by their fruits not their attendance.
Anyways, I think we’ll end this one here.
P -” I think there isn’t a problem with dating and marrying an unbeliever, esepescially given the implications. Let’s say you do, and you now marry this unbeliever, are we saying that the marriage is now a sin? For the rest of your life, your marriage is a sin, because God hates divorce. [And we know from 1 Cor 7:16, that your partner not being a believer is not a reason for divorce] I dont think it is a sin. It is a matter of whether it is wise and the amount of influence they have on your faith.”
And then it gets interesting.
P– “I think you can marry an unbeliever. In fact, I think it greater shows the love that Christ had for the Church, than a normal relationship between two believers. I mean, I don’t think it is wise. But I think it shows a greater example of loving someone, even if they are not “worthy” of it, by their choice to not follow Christ.”
“I don’t think it is wise” is a phrase that came up often. And I can see why. It is not uncommon to see believers “fall off” after spending more and more time with an unbeliever, and partaking more and more in their ways, especially in the context of relationships. Even if it is not actions, it may simply be their wordly worries.
Worldly worries?
N – “You don’t really want to be so indulged in an unbelievers life that their worries, within the world, become your worries, to where when you hear the Word of God, it is not fruitful in your life.”
“But the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.” [Mark 4:19]
So to wrap it up. Can you? Sure. Should you? Perhaps. Will you? ****
My Sunday Skl 